Is “I Just Need Time Alone to Heal” Effective—Or Am I Delaying My Healing?

It’s common to hear someone say, “I just need time alone to heal.” Maybe you’ve even said it yourself. While stepping back to process pain is sometimes necessary, is completely isolating yourself truly the most effective path to healing?

When we’ve been hurt, our instinct is often to withdraw—to shut others out and convince ourselves we just need time to figure things out on our own. But at what point does this instinct shift from a necessary pause into self-sabotage?

Scripture tells us that “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). And yet, when we’ve been wounded by relationships, the idea of healing within relationships can feel counterintuitive. Wouldn’t it be safer to just rely on ourselves?

Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion (Hooks, 2000). This resonates deeply because healing isn’t just about self-reflection—it’s about re-engaging, being seen, and allowing God and others to walk alongside us in the process.

Think You’re Better Off Healing Alone? Science Says Otherwise.

We weren’t just spiritually designed for connection—our bodies physically depend on it. Research shows that social connection strengthens our mental and physical well-being, improving everything from blood sugar regulation to cardiovascular health, lowering stress, and even increasing cancer survival rates (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010).

And yet, healing within relationships takes courage. Vulnerability feels risky, especially when we’ve been let down before. But as Brené Brown reminds us, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity” (Brown, 2012).

When we choose to isolate, we may feel safer initially, but we also cut ourselves off from the very experiences that lead to healing—love, connection, and being truly known.

Healing Requires Trust—But What If You’re Not Sure Who to Trust?

If relationships have been a source of pain, they can also be a source of healing. That doesn’t mean rushing into unhealthy dynamics or ignoring the need for boundaries. But at some point, we have to ask:

Am I giving myself the space I need to heal, or am I avoiding healing altogether?

Maybe the idea of trusting others again feels overwhelming. Maybe you’re unsure which relationships in your life are actually safe. If that’s the case, therapy can be a stepping stone—a place where you can process pain in a structured and safe environment.

We’ll explore more about how therapy is different from simply venting to a friend in the next post, but for now, consider this: If your instinct is to isolate, what would it look like to take a small step toward connection instead?

You Weren’t Meant to Carry This Alone.

Therapy or not—healing is possible, and you do NOT have to white-knuckle this journey alone.

Not everyone needs therapy to heal, and therapy alone won’t solve every problem. But for many, it dramatically reduces symptoms, increases internal peace, and provides a structured space to process, grow, and move forward in an intentional way (Weisz et al., 2019). Even just knowing that therapy is an option—a place designed for you to be seen, known, and supported—can be a game-changer in healing.

Regardless of whether therapy is part of your journey, investing in relationships is courageous and worthwhile. It’s not easy. It takes vulnerability, trust, and time. But healing happens in connection— not isolation.

Yes, alone time and solitude are valuable. Reflection is important. But please don’t forget: you were never meant to heal—or live—alone. If you want to feel more connected and less isolated, there is a path forward for you on the other side of isolation.

Cheering you on in your healing journey,

-Lizzy Hollwedel and Liz Ferguson

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Further Reading & Research

The Power of Relationships in Healing

• Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. National Institutes of Health
• Zhang, Z., & Hayward, M. D. (2006). Gender, the marital life course, and cardiovascular disease in late midlife. Social Science & Medicine

How Therapy Supports Symptom Reduction

• Weisz, J. R., Kuppens, S., Ng, M. Y., et al. (2019). What five decades of research tells us about the effects of youth psychological therapy. National Institutes of Health
• The Family Institute at Northwestern University. (2021). The importance of a strong therapeutic relationship in symptom reduction. The Family Institute